I Dropped the Ball
Every one of us has, at one time or another, disappointed a colleague or friend. No matter how hard you try, sometimes a deadline will be missed or a commitment not met. Many of these misses don’t carry huge consequences – almost always some disappointment, sometimes inconvenience, and perhaps some loss of credibility. And, some have huge consequences – real deep disappointment, loss of trust and credibility. Liann Davey says that it is inevitable that you won’t be able to live up to everyone’s expectations, neither small ones or large significant ones. There are simply too many priorities, too few resources, and expectations are too high.
Professor Sigal Barsade, the Joseph Frank Bernstein Professor of Management at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School, believes that while it is inevitable that we will miss some of the commitments we make, we can minimize the damage done by addressing the issue as soon as we are aware of it, rather than ignoring our failure, and running away from it.
Amy Gallo suggests an eight-step process that might be helpful:
1. Act first. Instead of running away, address the issue when you become aware that you are not going to meet your commitment. Hopefully, this will give the other person time to find other ways to handle the situation. If you wait until the other person has no options, you are putting them in a terrible position AND further damaging your credibility.
2. Prepare emotionally for the conversation. If you are on a course to disappoint a colleague or your partner or a friend, you need to have a conversation. This will be difficult, as you don’t want to disappoint the person. You need to prepare because in situations like this, we all have the tendency to become indirect and use too many words. Barsade notes that sometimes you might be so nervous that you blurt it out in a callous way just to get it out. All this suggests that you need to work on what and how you are going to convey the bad news.
3. Plan, prepare, and practice. Gallo suggests that you might write down what you are going to say. Davey suggests that you be sure to get the details correct. And, as you prepare, think about different possibilities. What if the individual gets upset? Yells? Etc. How will you react?
4. Talk face to face. If you are not going to fulfill your commitments, it is far better to deliver that message face-to-face than any other way. Face-to-face you can read the person’s reactions and convey a genuine apology. If it’s possible to renegotiate the agreement, it’s far easier to work out the details face–to-face, rather than through a flood of electronic messages.
5. Tell it like it is. Be concise. “I made a mistake.” “I didn’t complete the project.” Explain what happened; take responsibility.
6. Apologize. Saying “I’m sorry” and really meaning it will go a long way. But, only apologize if you really mean it. Gallo suggests that you can show your sincerity by acknowledging the impact your slip-up had on the other person and what you’ll do differently next time. If the slip-up is a bad one, you may need to work to restore the other individual’s trust in you.
7. Suggest a path forward. Suggest a plan to help make the situation right. You will need to do this collaboratively so that both of your needs are met. Personally, I don’t believe that just telling the person that you are not able to deliver is an appropriate course of action.
8. Stop overpromising. The next time you are approached with a request to help by doing a task, by taking on a project, etc., be up front about what you can and cannot do. Ask questions to understand exactly what will be expected of you if you accept the request. What’s the due date? How will it fit in with your other commitments? Make sure you really understand what you are saying “yes” to.
To get almost anything of consequence done, we need to collaborate with others. And, that collaboration almost always involves making commitments. Some are small, and perhaps inconsequential, some are substantial. We do good for ourselves and for others by delivering on all of our commitments.
So, as you plan your day and your week pay particular attention to allocating time to deliver on your commitments.
Make it a great week. . . . jim
Jim Bruce is a Senior Fellow and Executive Coach at MOR Associates, and Professor of Electrical Engineering, Emeritus, and CIO, Emeritus, at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Cambridge, MA.
References:
Amy Gallo, How to Tell Your Colleague Your Colleague You Dropped the Ball, Harvard Business Review.
Liann Davey, You First: Inspire Your Team to Grow Up, Get Along, and Get Stuff Done, Knightsbridge, 2013.
- October 2024 (1)
- September 2024 (4)
- August 2024 (4)
- July 2024 (5)
- June 2024 (4)
- May 2024 (4)
- April 2024 (5)
- March 2024 (4)
- February 2024 (4)
- January 2024 (5)
- December 2023 (3)
- November 2023 (4)
- October 2023 (5)
- September 2023 (4)
- August 2023 (4)
- July 2023 (4)
- June 2023 (4)
- May 2023 (5)
- April 2023 (4)
- March 2023 (1)
- January 2023 (4)
- December 2022 (3)
- November 2022 (5)
- October 2022 (4)
- September 2022 (4)
- August 2022 (5)
- July 2022 (4)
- June 2022 (4)
- May 2022 (5)
- April 2022 (4)
- March 2022 (5)
- February 2022 (4)
- January 2022 (4)
- December 2021 (3)
- November 2021 (4)
- October 2021 (3)
- September 2021 (4)
- August 2021 (4)
- July 2021 (4)
- June 2021 (5)
- May 2021 (4)
- April 2021 (4)
- March 2021 (5)
- February 2021 (4)
- January 2021 (4)
- December 2020 (4)
- November 2020 (4)
- October 2020 (6)
- September 2020 (5)
- August 2020 (4)
- July 2020 (7)
- June 2020 (7)
- May 2020 (5)
- April 2020 (4)
- March 2020 (5)
- February 2020 (4)
- January 2020 (4)
- December 2019 (2)
- November 2019 (4)
- October 2019 (4)
- September 2019 (3)
- August 2019 (3)
- July 2019 (2)
- June 2019 (4)
- May 2019 (3)
- April 2019 (5)
- March 2019 (4)
- February 2019 (3)
- January 2019 (5)
- December 2018 (2)
- November 2018 (4)
- October 2018 (5)
- September 2018 (3)
- August 2018 (3)
- July 2018 (4)
- June 2018 (4)
- May 2018 (5)
- April 2018 (4)
- March 2018 (5)
- February 2018 (5)
- January 2018 (3)
- December 2017 (3)
- November 2017 (4)
- October 2017 (5)
- September 2017 (3)
- August 2017 (5)
- July 2017 (3)
- June 2017 (8)
- May 2017 (5)
- April 2017 (4)
- March 2017 (4)
- February 2017 (4)
- January 2017 (4)
- December 2016 (2)
- November 2016 (7)
- October 2016 (5)
- September 2016 (8)
- August 2016 (5)
- July 2016 (4)
- June 2016 (12)
- May 2016 (5)
- April 2016 (4)
- March 2016 (7)
- February 2016 (4)
- January 2016 (10)
- December 2015 (4)
- November 2015 (6)
- October 2015 (4)
- September 2015 (7)
- August 2015 (5)
- July 2015 (6)
- June 2015 (12)
- May 2015 (4)
- April 2015 (6)
- March 2015 (10)
- February 2015 (4)
- January 2015 (4)
- December 2014 (3)
- November 2014 (5)
- October 2014 (4)
- September 2014 (6)
- August 2014 (4)
- July 2014 (4)
- June 2014 (4)
- May 2014 (5)
- April 2014 (5)
- March 2014 (5)
- February 2014 (4)
- January 2014 (5)
- December 2013 (5)
- November 2013 (5)
- October 2013 (10)
- September 2013 (4)
- August 2013 (5)
- July 2013 (8)
- June 2013 (6)
- May 2013 (4)
- April 2013 (5)
- March 2013 (4)
- February 2013 (4)
- January 2013 (5)
- December 2012 (3)
- November 2012 (4)
- October 2012 (5)
- September 2012 (4)
- August 2012 (4)
- July 2012 (5)
- June 2012 (4)
- May 2012 (5)
- April 2012 (4)
- March 2012 (4)
- February 2012 (4)
- January 2012 (4)
- December 2011 (3)
- November 2011 (5)
- October 2011 (4)
- September 2011 (4)
- August 2011 (4)
- July 2011 (4)
- June 2011 (5)
- May 2011 (5)
- April 2011 (3)
- March 2011 (4)
- February 2011 (4)
- January 2011 (4)
- December 2010 (3)
- November 2010 (4)
- October 2010 (4)
- September 2010 (3)
- August 2010 (5)
- July 2010 (4)
- June 2010 (5)
- May 2010 (4)
- April 2010 (3)
- March 2010 (2)
- February 2010 (4)
- January 2010 (4)
- December 2009 (4)
- November 2009 (4)
- October 2009 (4)
- September 2009 (4)
- August 2009 (3)
- July 2009 (3)
- June 2009 (3)
- May 2009 (4)
- April 2009 (4)
- March 2009 (2)
- February 2009 (3)
- January 2009 (3)
- December 2008 (3)
- November 2008 (3)
- October 2008 (3)
- August 2008 (3)
- July 2008 (4)
- May 2008 (2)
- April 2008 (2)
- March 2008 (2)
- February 2008 (1)
- January 2008 (1)
- December 2007 (3)
- November 2007 (3)
- October 2007 (3)
- September 2007 (1)
- August 2007 (2)
- July 2007 (4)
- June 2007 (2)
- May 2007 (3)
- April 2007 (1)
- March 2007 (2)
- February 2007 (2)
- January 2007 (3)
- December 2006 (1)
- November 2006 (1)
- October 2006 (1)
- September 2006 (3)
- August 2006 (1)
- June 2006 (2)
- April 2006 (1)
- March 2006 (1)
- February 2006 (1)
- January 2006 (1)
- December 2005 (1)
- November 2005 (2)
- October 2005 (1)
- August 2005 (1)
- July 2005 (1)
- April 2005 (2)
- March 2005 (4)
- February 2005 (2)
- December 2004 (1)