Be Kind. Rewind.
Today’s Tuesday Reading is from Jonathan Seitz, Technical Engineering Manager at Harvard University. He is a current MOR program participant. Jonathan may be reached at [email protected] or via LinkedIn.
My first job in high school was at my local Blockbuster Video. In those pre-streaming days, the role of “Video Store Clerk” still held a lot of cultural cachet. And I threw myself into being the best Video Store Clerk I could be. I knew the store backward and forwards, and I was the go-to for those “Do you have that movie where that guy does that thing?” questions.
So, when I was offered a shift supervisor role, I jumped at it. The role came with a nicer polo shirt and the discretion to cancel late fees. I was certain that my former peers would all look up to me and respect the authority I had so clearly earned.
Except, of course, nobody cared about the new polo, and being allowed to cancel late fees just meant that I was the one who had to talk to customers who were upset about their late fees. It was more responsibility for — as I saw it then — little reward.
So I quit, and at age 17, I decided I wasn’t cut out for management. I had already decided to study journalism in college, and my hero then was Hunter S. Thompson. I wanted to be that kind of freewheeling gonzo correspondent, traveling the world and never needing to worry about management or fancy polo shirts again.
However, the bottom fell out of the journalism industry just as I was graduating college. Not only did those gonzo jobs not exist anymore, but hardly any journalism jobs existed. I bounced around small-town papers in the Boston area before a chance connection from an old professor landed me at Harvard, where I worked on the editorial side of a small quarterly magazine.
Once again, I threw myself into the job, trying to learn everything I could about the magazine and the foundation that supported it. I learned how to be a fact-checker, proofreader, copy editor, and photo researcher, and since I was the youngest person on staff, I oversaw the social media channels and the website.
There was no step up this time, though. It was a small, three-person team behind the magazine, and I was stuck at the bottom of the masthead. Meanwhile, the boss at the top was a proud graduate of the Darth Vader School of Management. Everything had to be done their way, and any problem or delay in the magazine was grounds for a verbal dressing down. The tantrums and tirades just choked away whatever interest I once had in journalism, and it felt like any ideas I had for improving the magazine would never be accepted.
So, I made an exit plan. I started studying software development through Harvard’s Extension School and kept an eye out for new opportunities elsewhere. Finally, I found a role in the Computing Office at Harvard’s School of Engineering and Applied Sciences (SEAS). Once again, I was at an entry level role, working as a “web support specialist” helping faculty set up their websites.
But this time, something different happened. I had bosses and managers who wanted to meet and talk about things other than whatever I’d done wrong — bosses who wanted to talk about my career and my goals. And it wasn’t long before I was given the chance to work on more interesting projects and eventually move to the software development team, then up to the senior developer position on that team. I started to see “Leadership” up close, and how a good boss can lift up everyone on their team.
Except, I had already decided at 17 that I wasn’t cut out for management. I was going to stick with the individual contributor track and, as usual, throw myself into being the best individual contributor I could be. I’d leave all the management and leadership stuff to those “natural leaders.”
…until, that is, in 2019 when my daughter was born. I very quickly learned that there is no individual contributor track in parenting. You must be a leader, teacher, and manager every day.
I had to be a learner, too. One of the biggest leadership lessons my daughter taught me was about solving puzzles. She liked doing puzzles but would get frustrated when she couldn’t find the right pieces. I had to fight the urge to jump in and do it for her while also trying to give her some hints so that she could figure it out on her own.
And I realized that she was fundamentally seeing the pieces differently than I was. I could look at a puzzle piece and see it was Bluey’s ear on that corner piece, but she looked at the same piece and saw funny shapes.
This gave me a new framework for thinking about leadership, especially when working with people. I realized leadership required a kind of applied empathy: not just understanding what another person is feeling but finding ways to use that understanding and perspective to help them succeed on their own terms.
More importantly, I started to grant that same empathy to myself — to the teenage video store clerk, the frustrated journalist, the web support specialist, the new dad. I realized that I’d been approaching so much of my career from that old mindset of leadership needing to be about innate authority and not as a skillset that would need to be developed and honed.
That “natural leader” I worked with saw that too and helped to pull some of those skills out of me. When he left for another role in 2022, he recommended me to take over leading the team.
And so, almost twenty years later, I’m back in management. I still field complaints and fight the urge to jump in and help with the puzzles, but I’m doing my best to be kind.
Which best describes you?
Last week, we asked about your institutions’ approach to the enrollment cliffs:
- 20% said we proactively have a strategy in place.
- 31% said we talk about it and have some plans.
- 13% said we don’t talk about that, it’s too scary.
- 36% said I don’t know, but I hope someone else is talking about it.
Thank you for your honesty in the breadth of answers last week. One dimension that makes a huge difference both individually and as collective institutions is our intentionality, especially when confronting difficult issues. Institutional concerns can take years of lead time. Bravo to those institutions being intentional.
- November 2024 (4)
- October 2024 (5)
- September 2024 (4)
- August 2024 (4)
- July 2024 (5)
- June 2024 (4)
- May 2024 (4)
- April 2024 (5)
- March 2024 (4)
- February 2024 (4)
- January 2024 (5)
- December 2023 (3)
- November 2023 (4)
- October 2023 (5)
- September 2023 (4)
- August 2023 (4)
- July 2023 (4)
- June 2023 (4)
- May 2023 (5)
- April 2023 (4)
- March 2023 (1)
- January 2023 (4)
- December 2022 (3)
- November 2022 (5)
- October 2022 (4)
- September 2022 (4)
- August 2022 (5)
- July 2022 (4)
- June 2022 (4)
- May 2022 (5)
- April 2022 (4)
- March 2022 (5)
- February 2022 (4)
- January 2022 (4)
- December 2021 (3)
- November 2021 (4)
- October 2021 (3)
- September 2021 (4)
- August 2021 (4)
- July 2021 (4)
- June 2021 (5)
- May 2021 (4)
- April 2021 (4)
- March 2021 (5)
- February 2021 (4)
- January 2021 (4)
- December 2020 (4)
- November 2020 (4)
- October 2020 (6)
- September 2020 (5)
- August 2020 (4)
- July 2020 (7)
- June 2020 (7)
- May 2020 (5)
- April 2020 (4)
- March 2020 (5)
- February 2020 (4)
- January 2020 (4)
- December 2019 (2)
- November 2019 (4)
- October 2019 (4)
- September 2019 (3)
- August 2019 (3)
- July 2019 (2)
- June 2019 (4)
- May 2019 (3)
- April 2019 (5)
- March 2019 (4)
- February 2019 (3)
- January 2019 (5)
- December 2018 (2)
- November 2018 (4)
- October 2018 (5)
- September 2018 (3)
- August 2018 (3)
- July 2018 (4)
- June 2018 (4)
- May 2018 (5)
- April 2018 (4)
- March 2018 (5)
- February 2018 (5)
- January 2018 (3)
- December 2017 (3)
- November 2017 (4)
- October 2017 (5)
- September 2017 (3)
- August 2017 (5)
- July 2017 (3)
- June 2017 (8)
- May 2017 (5)
- April 2017 (4)
- March 2017 (4)
- February 2017 (4)
- January 2017 (4)
- December 2016 (2)
- November 2016 (7)
- October 2016 (5)
- September 2016 (8)
- August 2016 (5)
- July 2016 (4)
- June 2016 (12)
- May 2016 (5)
- April 2016 (4)
- March 2016 (7)
- February 2016 (4)
- January 2016 (10)
- December 2015 (4)
- November 2015 (6)
- October 2015 (4)
- September 2015 (7)
- August 2015 (5)
- July 2015 (6)
- June 2015 (12)
- May 2015 (4)
- April 2015 (6)
- March 2015 (10)
- February 2015 (4)
- January 2015 (4)
- December 2014 (3)
- November 2014 (5)
- October 2014 (4)
- September 2014 (6)
- August 2014 (4)
- July 2014 (4)
- June 2014 (4)
- May 2014 (5)
- April 2014 (5)
- March 2014 (5)
- February 2014 (4)
- January 2014 (5)
- December 2013 (5)
- November 2013 (5)
- October 2013 (10)
- September 2013 (4)
- August 2013 (5)
- July 2013 (8)
- June 2013 (6)
- May 2013 (4)
- April 2013 (5)
- March 2013 (4)
- February 2013 (4)
- January 2013 (5)
- December 2012 (3)
- November 2012 (4)
- October 2012 (5)
- September 2012 (4)
- August 2012 (4)
- July 2012 (5)
- June 2012 (4)
- May 2012 (5)
- April 2012 (4)
- March 2012 (4)
- February 2012 (4)
- January 2012 (4)
- December 2011 (3)
- November 2011 (5)
- October 2011 (4)
- September 2011 (4)
- August 2011 (4)
- July 2011 (4)
- June 2011 (5)
- May 2011 (5)
- April 2011 (3)
- March 2011 (4)
- February 2011 (4)
- January 2011 (4)
- December 2010 (3)
- November 2010 (4)
- October 2010 (4)
- September 2010 (3)
- August 2010 (5)
- July 2010 (4)
- June 2010 (5)
- May 2010 (4)
- April 2010 (3)
- March 2010 (2)
- February 2010 (4)
- January 2010 (4)
- December 2009 (4)
- November 2009 (4)
- October 2009 (4)
- September 2009 (4)
- August 2009 (3)
- July 2009 (3)
- June 2009 (3)
- May 2009 (4)
- April 2009 (4)
- March 2009 (2)
- February 2009 (3)
- January 2009 (3)
- December 2008 (3)
- November 2008 (3)
- October 2008 (3)
- August 2008 (3)
- July 2008 (4)
- May 2008 (2)
- April 2008 (2)
- March 2008 (2)
- February 2008 (1)
- January 2008 (1)
- December 2007 (3)
- November 2007 (3)
- October 2007 (3)
- September 2007 (1)
- August 2007 (2)
- July 2007 (4)
- June 2007 (2)
- May 2007 (3)
- April 2007 (1)
- March 2007 (2)
- February 2007 (2)
- January 2007 (3)
- December 2006 (1)
- November 2006 (1)
- October 2006 (1)
- September 2006 (3)
- August 2006 (1)
- June 2006 (2)
- April 2006 (1)
- March 2006 (1)
- February 2006 (1)
- January 2006 (1)
- December 2005 (1)
- November 2005 (2)
- October 2005 (1)
- August 2005 (1)
- July 2005 (1)
- April 2005 (2)
- March 2005 (4)
- February 2005 (2)
- December 2004 (1)