Today’s Tuesday Reading is from Felix Zuniga, Campus Engagement Partner at the California State University, Office of the Chancellor. Felix may be reached at [email protected] or via LinkedIn.
When I was younger, I often felt like I was always coming up short, like I missed the boat. Whether it was a scholarship application, a fellowship program, or a job opportunity, I always seemed to fall short—missed deadlines, not quite enough experience, or just barely shy of the requirements. Even in my personal life, like asking someone out, I’d get friend-zoned. I used to beat myself up for missing these chances and started questioning if I was even worthy of them in the first place. It got to a point where I’d think, “Why bother? You probably won’t get it anyway.”
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment things started to change. It wasn’t some big, life-altering event but a series of small choices that shifted my perspective. James Clear, who wrote Atomic Habits, nails it when he says, “Your life today is essentially the sum of your habits…what you repeatedly do forms the person you are.” Do you have a habit of looking at the negative or the positive?
Let Them Tell You No
I was lucky to have people around me who always encouraged me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. I’d think, “Do they really know me, or are they just being nice?” But I started noticing that new opportunities kept showing up when I was looking for them and not stuck on what I’d missed. Plenty of research in positive psychology says focusing on the positive can lead to better outcomes. You get what you focus on. With my past experiences of feeling like I’d missed out, combined with this new outlook, I promised myself I wouldn’t let another opportunity pass by if it caught my interest. Even if the deadline had passed or I didn’t meet all the qualifications, I would still try. What was the worst that could happen? A “No”? I was already used to telling myself that, so why not let them tell me no instead?
Keep Showing Up
Many guys in my fraternity kept pushing me to run for President. Why not? I stepped out of my comfort zone and gave it my best shot. That experience led to another opportunity with a different group and then another. These experiences helped me build my resume and eventually land my first real job. After that, I just kept going. I stopped letting hesitation hold me back and started using it as a sign that I needed to show up, especially for myself. I can’t even count the fantastic experiences that I’ve had because I ignored that little voice telling me to stay put and instead showed up. I’ve built a network of incredible people across the country, and I do my best to show up for them, too—first by listening and then by helping however I can, with no expectations.
The Next Big Thing
Showing up for myself led to connections I never imagined, from a kid who kicked rocks in the desert to meeting with people at the White House, international conferences, presenting at Harvard, networking with Hollywood execs, receiving an award in Washington D.C., and even meeting several astronauts and a brain surgeon. I have also had the opportunity to travel and participate in several amazing fellowships and leadership programs like MOR. Beyond these memorable experiences, the best part has been watching students and colleagues I’ve mentored chase their dreams, not letting negative self-talk hold them back from excellent opportunities. I don’t believe in being lucky. We create our luck. The Roman philosopher Seneca told us, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” so prepare yourself to show up.
Key Takeaways:
- Mindset Shift: Shift your focus from missed opportunities to resilience and persistence. Don’t dwell on what you’ve lost; concentrate on what you can still achieve.
- Positive Thinking: Embrace a positive outlook and focus on what you can control. Direct your thoughts and energy toward the outcomes you desire.
- The Power of Showing Up: Commit to showing up, even when the odds seem stacked against you. By consistently being present, you’ll create new opportunities and open doors that might otherwise remain closed.
- Connecting the Dots: Recognize that small decisions and actions can have a cumulative effect. Step out of your comfort zone and take every chance to grow and connect.
I remember attending my first EDUCAUSE conference in Anaheim over a decade ago. I was this tiny fish in a vast pond, feeling lost among thousands of others. I heard John O’Brien deliver the welcome speech and thought, “How does this guy do this in front of so many people?” Afterward, I pushed myself to go up and thank him. That small action led to a connection that’s brought me so much—being part of the EDUCAUSE community, serving on committees, teaching as Institute Faculty, chairing the DEI advisory committee, serving on the Top 10 panel, and winning the DEI Champion Award last year in Chicago, and now a finalist to possibly serve on the Board of Directors. And to think, it all started because I pushed myself to say hello and ask for his card—just showing up.
Which could help you better show up in the coming week?
- Mindset Shift – don’t dwell on what you’ve lost; concentrate on what you can achieve
- Positive Thinking – embrace a positive outlook and focus on what you can control
- Power of Showing Up – commit to do so even when it’s difficult
- Connecting the Dots – recognize the cumulative effect of small decisions
Last week, we asked one way you could do less with MOR this coming week:
- 32% said focus on the strategic
- 21% said help someone else grow
- 21% said delegate
- 16% said drop a task that doesn’t need doing
- 10% said help yourself grow
Almost one in three of us identified focusing on the strategic, focusing on what will generate the most valuable outcomes for our organizations. If we’ve identified those strategic efforts, we’ve gotten closer to making them happen. If we don’t feel they’re well-identified, that’s a great place to start. Thank you to the one in ten of us who identified personal growth as a valuable way to spend our time. What skills can we develop, and what understanding can we gain that will help us lead more strategically? It is time well spent.