Today’s Tuesday Reading is from Nancy Sweatt, Coach, Facilitator, and Program Administrator at MOR Associates. Nancy may be reached at [email protected] or via LinkedIn.
The Sandwich Generation
For years, I heard mention of the dreaded “sandwich generation” and chose to actively ignore it. Well, here I am, a current member, unable to avoid my new reality. I am now caring for an aging parent and supporting my teenagers as they navigate the joys, challenges, and growing independence of adolescence.
One day, my routine was manageable. By the next, it was filled with doctors’ appointments, phone calls, endless paperwork, urgent decisions, and the unexpected joy of searching for passwords (shout out to de-cluttering and password management!). The first month felt like a game of whack-a-mole—responding to whatever demanded attention most urgently, knowing that another need was likely just around the corner.
Sustaining Competing Responsibilities
As the initial chaos has settled into something more predictable, I’ve found myself asking different questions. Instead of simply wondering, What needs my attention today? I’m asking, how do I sustain this and find balance with my energy, attention, and capacity?
Many of us are navigating competing responsibilities, whether caring for aging parents, raising children, supporting colleagues, or showing up for our communities. The details differ, but the challenge is similar: our energy, attention, and capacity are finite. I have narrowed my focus in navigating this time in my life by:
- Making intentional choices
- Setting realistic expectations
- Practicing resiliency
Setting realistic expectations is a practice I continue to refine and goes hand in hand with planning ahead, making intentional choices, and prioritizing what matters most. In the past, I have measured success by how many items I can cross off my to-do list in a day (I know you list makers get this). Over time, I have learned to focus on what is truly essential and to balance this with my capacity and energy. Aligning expectations with capacity has been the key to avoiding unnecessary stress and accomplishing what is important to me, both personally and professionally.
Perhaps the greatest lesson has been resilience. Not resilience as pushing through at all costs, which has been my pattern in the past, but resilience as the ability to adapt without losing myself. It means asking for help, which is a new practice, leaning on my community at work and at home, and finding time for the habits that restore my energy.
The question isn’t whether competing responsibilities will find us. They will. The question is, how will we respond?
Weekly Planning and Reflection
At MOR, we encourage weekly planning at the start of the week and weekly reflection at the end. These intentional pauses create space to step back from the urgency of the moment, reconnect with your priorities, and make intentional choices. If this isn’t already part of your routine, I encourage you to block time on your calendar weekly. As you navigate competing responsibilities, reflect on questions like these:
- Where is my attention being pulled? Do I need to make adjustments?
- Are there expectations of myself or others I need to adjust?
- Am I spending my time and energy on what matters most this week?
- What habit or relationship helps restore my capacity? Have I made time for it?
- What is one intentional choice I can make this week that will help me navigate my competing responsibilities?
While life in the Sandwich Generation is not easy, essential ingredients in the sandwich (making intentional choices, setting realistic expectations, and building resilience) are helping me to navigate my competing responsibilities. Unfortunately, dill pickle stackers didn’t make the cut for this sandwich.
Which is most important to you as you navigate competing responsibilities?
Last week, we asked what moment in front of you are making room for.
- 70% said something else
- 10% said a new identity that I am still learning how to inhabit
- 8% said a braver step into responsibility
- 7% said a deeper trust in others
- 5% said a more sustainable version of leadership
Usually “other” only garners a few percentage points. Such a high percentage here signifies how personal it is when we consider what we are each creating space for. This week’s reading offers concrete actions to help you create that space – making intentional choices, setting realistic expectations, and practicing resiliency.