For most of my career, I carried around a quiet assumption about leadership: the best leaders were the ones who could command a room. They spoke confidently, filled silence without effort, and seemed energized by being at the center of attention. I’m wired differently. I tend to hang back, watch what’s happening, and think before I speak. For a long time, that made me wonder if I was somehow “less” of a leader.
The MOR program has encouraged me to rethink that narrative. I learned about presence, how we show up, and how to build environments where people can belong and contribute. Those ideas have helped me see that introversion isn’t the opposite of leadership; it’s simply one way of doing it.
Learning to Own My Presence
When I first learned MOR’s emphasis on presence and personal brand, I heard it as an invitation to “turn up the volume.” The focus on first impressions and the 4 Es of presence (how I enter, the energy I bring, how I engage, and the ethos I project) initially sounded like encouragement to show more charisma.
Over time, I realized that’s not actually the point. Presence is about the experience people have of me every time I show up. In my case, it tends to look like calm, thoughtful, and steady. I’m listening, connecting dots, and watching how the room is reacting.
Owning that has been freeing. Instead of trying to mimic an extroverted person, I’ve started asking: “What do people need from me in this moment?” Sometimes the answer is energy and enthusiasm. Other times it’s a measured voice that brings the conversation back to our goals or calls out the impact on people. Either way, it’s still presence. I’m delivering it in my own way.
Introversion and Empathy
Being an introverted leader has deepened my appreciation for empathy. In IT Service Delivery, it’s easy to organize my day around queues, SLAs, deadlines, and metrics. MOR reinforces how important it is to be clear about the outcomes I’m working to deliver and to measure progress along the way while also focusing on the people – employee satisfaction, workplace climate, and a sense of belonging.
That’s where my introversion has turned into an asset. I naturally pay attention to the emotional temperature in the room. Empathy, for me, is the decision to act on those observations instead of brushing them aside. Sometimes that looks like a one-on-one conversation: “Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter lately. How are things landing for you?” Other times it’s bringing the human impact into a discussion about results: “We can hit this target, but not with the current workload. What needs to change so we can sustain this?” In both cases, I’m still focused on outcomes; I’m just making sure we don’t ignore the people delivering them.
Listening as a Leadership Practice
MOR elevates listening from a polite behavior to a core leadership capability. That requires me to manage my own mental chatter. When someone comes to me with an issue, my instinct is to jump ahead to potential solutions. Instead, I’ve been practicing some of the MOR techniques:
- Building in “I-time” so people can write down their ideas before we start talking.
- Doing a quick go-around so everyone gets a chance to speak, not just the loudest voices.
- Using questions like “Help me understand what’s most frustrating about this?” or “What does success look like from your perspective?” to draw out their thinking.
I hold the space long enough for other people’s ideas to surface. And when people feel genuinely heard, they’re more willing to take on stretch goals, try new approaches, and lean into change.
Creating Belonging for Quieter Voices
I know exactly how it feels to have something to say and watch the conversation move too fast to let me in. I know what it’s like to second-guess whether my point is “worth” bringing up when others are already talking over each other. That makes me more attuned to who is getting crowded out. So I am being more intentional:
- Sending agendas ahead of time so people have a chance to think before we meet.
- Explicitly inviting input from people who haven’t had a chance to speak: “I’d really like to hear what you think about this.”
- Noticing who gets interrupted and circling back: “You were starting to say something earlier can we come back to that?”
Over time, this creates psychological safety. When that safety exists, both introverts and extroverts are more willing to lead in their own way.
Balancing Empathy and Results
One tension I’ve had to navigate is balancing empathy and results. MOR is unapologetic about the importance of delivering outcomes. At the same time, the “people side” is not optional; it’s part of the system.
I’ve made mistakes on both sides. I’ve leaned too hard into empathy and let performance issues linger because I didn’t want to add pressure. I’ve also gone too far in the other direction, pushing for metrics and only later realizing the cost in burnout and morale.
What’s helping me now is bringing the team into that balance. Instead of arriving with all the answers, I’ll say something like, “Here’s the outcome we’re on the hook for. What’s getting in our way? What could we change that would make this sustainable?” Those conversations often surface process improvements I wouldn’t have seen on my own, and they reinforce that empathy and accountability can coexist.
A Different Kind of Breakthrough
When imagining a breakthrough for the future, I see a stronger version of myself as a leader. An introverted leader who’s confident in their own way of leading:
- I’m using empathy deliberately, not just instinctively.
- I’m clear and direct about results, while still caring deeply about the people doing the work.
- I’m comfortable enough with my presence that I don’t underestimate the impact of my voice.
Leadership is a set of behaviors, not a personality type or a job title. If leadership is about doing the right things, creating the conditions for others to succeed, and delivering meaningful results, then introversion isn’t a liability. In many ways, it’s one of my greatest strengths.
Empathy is how I extend that strength beyond my own experience. It turns my natural inclination to listen and observe into something that can shape teams, influence culture, and ultimately improve outcomes. A steady, thoughtful, human-centered approach might be exactly what more organizations need.
How does today’s reading most inspire you to enhance your own leadership?
Last week, we asked what has been your most challenging aspect of organizational alignment. Of those who have participated in organizational alignment:
- 47% said shared processes
- 43% said individual buy-in
- 10% said shared technology
For 90% of us, the top challenge with organizational alignment is not the technology. It is the involved work of building and sustaining individual buy-in and developing the shared processes to sustain the change. What can you rely upon in your MOR toolset to help you with this effort?